Malcolm Nelson worked for 40 years for HM Customs and Excise. He worked on every aspect of catching smugglers. He was mainly based at Heathrow but he also spent time at London Port, Dover, St Petersberg (Russia), Malta, and at most major airports throughout the EU.

He is also a memeber of the British Society of Criminologists specialising in internatioanally famous unsolved mysteries.

Since retirement in 2005 he has developed his speaking activity and now delivers in excess of 80 talks a year to clubs and societies through out the south of England. His agency ranked him one below Graham Gooch ( ex England cricket captain) and one above Martin Bell the TV personality and ex MP. He is a popular cruise ship speaker, having delivered his talks on approximately 70 cruises. His charismatic personality; as witnessed when he narrowly failed to win £100,000 on ITVs" Beat the Chasers; means he goes down well with passengers from every level of society.

His main programme of talks is entitled "International Drug Smuggling, 40 years of Catching Smugglers". In this series of talks he uses his experience to give his audience an insight into the world of International Drug Smuggling with particular emphasis on just how Customs Officers catch smugglers. He also talks on crime. Subjects such as Jack the Ripper, the St valentines Day Massacre, Bonnie and Clyde, and the Bootleggers. In addition he also gives talks on the history of smuggling, historical events in Australia.. His talks are are invariably informative and his unique style of delivery make them both entertaining and, where appropriate, extremely amusing.

He is an accomplished speaker having been trained in Advanced Presentaional Skills. He is a member of the British Society of Criminologists and he is accredited by the Australian Tourist Board as an "Aussie Specialist".

His first book "Forty Years Catching Smugglers" was published in 2011 and his second "In Pursuit of the Two Legged Mule" was published in 2017.

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THE HISTORY OF INTERNATIONAL SMUGGLING FROM THE MIDDLE AGES TO THE PRESENT DAY

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1. The opening talk introduces the audience to the mysteries of just how Customs Officers catch smugglers.
Interesting, bizarre, often hilarious, and sometimes sad, but never never dull.

2. "Why do I always feel so Guilty?" An insight into how Customs Officers select passengers who they think might be carrying drugs.
Just what is it they are looking for? What are the tell tale signs? How do the guilty ones give themselves away? Why are some people always stopped and sometime people are never stopped.

3. "You're Nicked." What happens after drugs are found. From to detection to Crown Court.
Pictures of actual drug concealments with the real life stories behind the pictures. Malcolm was either the detecting Officer or was connected to each one.

4. Internal Concelaments
A detailed look at how people who swallow drugs as means of concealment are detected and processed. It includes pictures and x-rays of offenders. Not for the fainthearted (ha ha)

5. Lies and Excuses
An insight into how Customs Officers detect items such as cigarettes, fur coats, jewellery. This includes hints about who some of the more famous people Malcolm came across during his 40 years.

6. Bluff and Counter Bluff in the Red Channel.
Smuggling through the Red Channel is much rarer than through the Green. The wiley smugglers' success or otherwise depends largely on their ability to bluff!!

7. A Case Study:
This talk takes the audience through a particularly complicated offence from interception in the Green Channel to Crown Court. You the audience are the jury. And if you find the accused guilty, you are the judge.

8. Ship and Boats and Planes.
A look at other ways and types of smuggling. Small planes, yachts, containers, cars, and trains carrying drugs, cigarettes, and “people”.

9. Two modern day famous smugglers.
An in depth look at two famous or infamous smugglers ; Howard Marks (Mr Nice) and Curtis (Cocky ) Warren; one of whom actually made his way onto the Sunday Times “Rich List”.

10. Smugglers of yesteryear
A detailed look at smugglers from the 17th and 18th century

11. The history of smuggling from the 6th century to modern day.
Just how smuggling and the methods of counteracting it developed over the centuries

12. Smuggling gangs of the 18th and 19th century.
Was this the beginning of “organised crime” as we know it.

13. Pablo Escobar. A modern day Robin Hood or a wolf in sheeps clothing. The life story of the most infamous drug smuggler of the modern era.

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AUSTRALIAN HISTORY TALKS

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14. “The bombing of Darwin”
More bombs were dropped and more ships sunk than at Pearl Harbour. But why are the Australians so ashamed of this episode in their history.

15. “The Australian gold rush”.
An attempt to separate the fact from the fiction.

16. “The demise of the Australian aborigine”. Just why is the aborigine held in such little regard by the people of Australia.

17. “A Nation of Thieves” (This title can be adapted so as not to offend the audience).
The story of Arthur Phillip and the very first convoy to Botany Bay and the place we now know as Sydney.

18. “Life and Times of Ned Kelly”
Seperating the fact from the fiction of the notorious outlaw.

19. “The Ayres Rock Mystery”
The Chamberlains have finally been exonerated of all blame for Azarias disappearance. But just why were the Australian police so convinced they had committed the crime in the first place.

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UNSOLVED HISTORICAL MYSTERIES

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20. "Just who was Jack the Ripper?"
An in depth look at the Whitechapel murders and who the likely culprit was. The audience are invited to make their choice and the presenter will give his verdict.

21. "The St Valentines day Massacre."
Six dead bodies and one soon tob e dead in a garage on Clarke Sreet, Chicago. Almost certainly Al Capone was behind it. But who were the actual shooters?

22. Bonnie and Clyde.
Just who were Bonnie and Clyde? Were they really these romantic figures as depicted on the cinema screen, were they cold blooded ruthless killers, or were they victims of the worst recession ever experienced in America.

23. "Bootleggers."
This talk unravels the spiders webb that is the gangland wars in Chicago in the Probibition years. Al Capone, Buggsy Moran, Dion O'Bannion, who really ran Chicago during the 1920s and early 1930s ?
24. Death in Dallas. Did Lee Harvey Oswald really carry out the most notorious assassination in history alone? If not, who else wanted JFK dead.

The following recent Cruise History has been recorded for this candidate.